Twitter meme: #MedievalMovies

So Twitter is a really addictive social sharing tool if you haven't tried it. A feature called "trending topics" shows you what tons of people are talking about ALL AT ONCE. It's like an RSS feed on crack.

One of today's trending topics is called #medievalmovies, and is hilarious. You have to *medievalify the names of non-medieval movies. Since not all of you have Twitter, I'm copying some of my favorites here. Man, it's like somebody started this JUST FOR ME! Some of these ideas are ripe for parody.

Julian Calendar Girls

Feudal Attraction

You've Got Chainmail

Weekend At Constantinople's

Serf's Up

Apocalypse Whence

This Is Spinal Tapestry

National Lampoon's Monastic Pilgrimage Vacation

Grand Theft Cart: Market Town Edition

Last Castle on the Left

Ace Ventura: Parapet Detective

Marketplace Royale

Crouching Knight, Hidden Flagon

Father Of the Wench

My Big Fat Byzantine Wedding

Under Siege Engines

Up Close and Percival

The Italian Renaissance Job

I Know What You Ploughed Last Summer

Gawain My Way

Legally Blondel

Sex in the Citadel

Charlemagne's Angels

Sisterhood of the Traveling Corset

A Moat Runs Round It

Buffy the Viking Slayer

The Hazard of Dukes

Mr & Mrs Blacksmith

Thatch Me if you Can

Its a Flat, Flat, Flat, Flat world

A Feudal Good Men

Annie Get Your Crossbow

Sir Strangelove, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying & Love the Trebuchet

Runneth, Lola, Runneth

Some Like It Motte and Bailey

Jerry Mcsquire

Milord, Where is my Mount?

Snakes On An Ox-Cart

The Man With The Golden Trebuchet

Carriagespotting

Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Catapults

16 Tallows (or) Sixteen Candelabras

Prithee in Pink

The Star Wars of the Roses

Single White Damsel

Monks in Black

White Men Can't Joust

Die Bard

Die Hard: With a Crossbow

Reservoir Dragons

Next of Bodkin

Robert The Bruce Almighty

* I'm like Shakespeare, yo! I can make up words and stuff.

The "Hunt for Gollum" LoTR Fan Film

At nearly 40 minutes, this amazing Lord of the Rings fan film cost only $5,000 to make. It's 100 times better than I was expecting. The titles, music and cinematography are quite similar to the original series. The effects and makeup are top quality - and Aragorn gets to slice through loads of orcs! The clever use of CGI and an 'Elven sack of holding' means your imagination does most of the work filling in the Gollum details. Tricksy filmmakers!

The Hunt For Gollum (HD version)

If you can't see the video in this post, you can watch it at the Hunt for Gollum Movie website. And keep up with more Middle Earth news at theOneRing.net - The Hobbit is still yet to come!

Reclaiming the Blade giveaway

The makers of independent film Reclaiming the Blade are giving away prizes including Hasbro Force FX Lightsabers, practical swords and the grand prize, a Trainer for a Day:



Apparently I'm eligible for something, being a 'friend of RTB', and having their banner on my blog for a while now. You can enter to win swords by signing up for their mailing list. I'm all for supporting independent film, especially when there is booty involved! I figure a high percentage of my readers like swords, and might like to help support this film by buying the DVD or downloading it on iTunes.

Also from their site... NEW: Friends of RTB will be listed in the final film credits. Oh, that makes me squee a little!

Outlander

Per Omina Saecula sure has the math right on this one:

Beowulf + Predator = *Outlander

I agree. It's gonna upset the history purists as well. A few years from now, we'll have students in medieval literature classes all over the country claiming Grendel was really an alien because they saw this movie.



I will of course sharpen my special mocking quill for this one. I'm sure I can find a few vikings to invade the movie theater with...

*The movie title also kind of upsets me. I'm an "Outlander", meaning I live in the Kingdom of the Outlands in the SCA. Did they ASK our persmission before using it? Noooo...well, that's vikings for you. I think we've been pillaged.

Faintheart

I have a feeling I'm going to strongly identify with this movie.

From FAINTHEART ON MYSPACE: "Faintheart is a hilarious and heartwarming British romantic comedy set in the world of Viking battle re-enactments"



Yep, that's definitely British humor. Looks like it'll be released in the UK February 2009. Maybe us Americans will get it this spring too?

Swords are making a comeback!

Ye may have noticed a small banner buried way down in my sidebar for a movie called Reclaiming the Blade - if not, you need to spend some time exploring my site; there's a bunch of hidden treasures here...but I digress.

No need to go hunting for the banner now, for the movie trailer is upon us!



Hungry for more swords? Well, this amazing gem just passed through my RSS feed this morning: how about the Raymond J. Lord Collection (a huge page of PDF period fencing and fighting manuals) to whet your appetite for steel? I recommend saving all of the manuals to your harddrive to print and read at your leisure. To be truly cavalier, one must have adequate leisure time, no?

Shindigs abound!

In these uncertain times, it's good to have things to celebrate. In the past month I've gone to a Browncoat shindig, a fun family reunion, an SCA camping event (Crossroads) and finally, finally seen Duran Duran live in concert (that was a 20+ year wait!)

You're probably wondering what Browncoats? Wasn't Firefly and Serenity like, years ago now? Turns out there's a group of dedicated souls called the MileHigh Browncoats in *Colorado that have kept the Firefly party going, having monthly shindigs and raising money for charity. And always, for the last few years, every single shindig has conflicted with other important events on my calender. Until last Friday.

Check out this video of special musical guest Bedlam Bards performing "Can't Take the Sky" at the shindig on June 6th:



You can hear the appreciative audience woo-hooing and singing along. As the night wore on, and music of the 'verse filled the night air. In infectious happiness made me feel all shiny, and long for the days (three years ago!) when I used to blog about Firefly occasionally...

Like what you've heard? Visit Bedlam Bards on Myspace, or get On the Drift - Music inspired by Firefly and Serenity

*Browncoats are not specific only to Colorado. There are Browncoat chapters all across the country - there's even a Browncoat Wiki now!

Not just another sword movie

Some of you may have noticed the little graphic down on the sidebar for Reclaiming the Blade by Galatia Films. If not, seek it out and click it. Or you can just wait for the link I'll provide in the next paragraph or so.

When I first heard this film was in production, I pored over their website, as any good fencer would do. A documentary about renaissance swordplay, narrated by John Rhys-Davies? Score points for that. But when I last looked, there were no videos: I had been looking for fight scenes. But I found the Friends of RTB, to which I promptly applied. I wanted very much to help this production see the light of day, for so many good independent films never make it to the screen.

And there I sit, right between the Provo chapter of ARMA and the Chicago Swordplay Guild. Aye, distinguished company. The rest of the cast is not a shabby list of rogues, either!




Want to learn more? Or perhaps win one of those prizes? Check out the RTB YouTube Channel and sign up for the newsletter to get on the list for the free booty!

This movie could be coming out as early as this summer! For this, I will go to the theater again. Probably in costume.

Jim Carey takes on Medieval Times

Having never seen The Cable Guy, I never knew that this great chunk of cheese existed. Thanks again, YouTube, for showing me the wonders of the intarwebz.

"They didn't have utensils but they had Pepsi?"



Ahh, Medieval Times. Verily, I wish such a place existed anywhere near me, for I would likely eat there a couple of times a week myself...

Movie review: 1612

In early October, I posted the 1612 trailer on this blog, and uttered one line about it: "When and how can I see this movie in English?" - because I thought the story would make zero sense without fluency in Russian or Polish.

I caved. I could not hold out any longer. I watched it without any subtitles.

Well, my understanding of Russian ends at Nostrovia, but if you pay attention, you can still 'get' a great deal of this movie as it is both acted really well, and the context of the scenes make sense. It seems to have been passed through the "300" filter too, with the camera work and effects. And there's just buckets of blood. If you've never seen a mass of mounted winged hussar running down peasantry, you've not lived! Plus, it is a fine resource for costumes and armor.

There is a continual theme of the unicorn, which is critical to the story somehow. Pieces of horn seem to be used as talismans, and a softly lit white one with really ridiculously long hair keeps showing up throughout the movie. I was half expecting the movie to derail into fantasy-land; I almost had a "Legend" moment.

But let me tell you about the Cavalier! He is conspicuously absent in the trailer, though his clothing can be seen on the main character, who has assumed his identity. The first time you see him, The Cavalier is playing at dice on a boat that is being pulled along the shore by a group of haggard slaves. This portion of the movie, being in Spanish, was slightly easier to translate. It is here we learn he probably cheats at dice and has a reputation for killing.

Two words. Doublet envy.

In an effort not to spoil the plot, I will say that the Cavalier ends up teaching the main character swordplay. Using his sword to draw a glowing blue fencing circle on the ground was a nice touch.

And because of this movie, I want to make a flipbook of some of the old renaissance fencing manuals...now THAT seems like a great way to learn the Spanish Circle from a dead guy.

Confusing enough? Yeah, I really need to find someone both qualified and interested in translating this movie.

My name is Bruce

Fans of *the chin, rejoice! Though not yet in theaters, this is popping up at film festivals. I'll keep my eyes peeled for local showings.

(*Bruce Campbell)

Now I never have to leave home...

I was thinking about the high cost of entertainment, and how I should not succumb to the waste of money that defines the 'movie theater' experience. Not only is the price of a ticket steep, but I just can't seem to resist all those expensive snacks....

Seriously, $3 for a small box of Whoppers? And do I really need a VAT of soda that will cause me to dash for the ladies room and miss some critical plot twist?

Since I have a pretty nice large monitor, I'm just going to watch movies at home now through Amazon's Unbox system. I can make my own popcorn and even drink a beer. Plus I can pause when nature calls and not miss a thing!

Virtual Beowulf

I saw the trailer for the upcoming Beowulf movie, and honestly I wasn't that impressed. Not that I was expecting the same kind of impressed I was when I watched the Lord of the Rings trailer for the first time.

I loved reading Beowulf as a kid, but I'm afraid I'm going to be one of those awful people who pick apart a movie because some liberties were taken with the plot. Or the characters. Or whatever isn't quite 'right'.

I dug around on the official Beowulf movie website hoping for more, something that could make me love this movie enough to shell out the $9 or more that it costs now for a movie ticket. Maybe I would stumble across a some golden treasure that would reassure me that yet another one of the classics isn't about to be murdered.

And LO! In the special features area of the website I discovered that a whole island has been created in Second Life devoted to the Beowulf movie experience! I went at once, armed with just a dagger, into the murky depths that is the virtual world...

beowulf island

Suffice to say, I'm still unimpressed.

UPDATE: Ok, I'm not so sulky, now. While I have used the Movie Quote Generator in the past with some success, having just found the Advertising Slogan Generator turned out to be great comedy timing, otherwise "Beowulf" would have not been on my mind...

What's In Your Beowulf?

Enter a word for your own slogan:

Generated by the Advertising Slogan Generator, .

You've Always Got Time For Beowulf.

Enter a word for your own slogan:

Generated by the Advertising Slogan Generator, for all your slogan needs. Get more Beowulf slogans.

Things Go Better with Beowulf.

Enter a word for your own slogan:

Generated by the Advertising Slogan Generator, .

Beowulf. It's Everywhere You Wanna Be.

Enter a word for your own slogan:

Generated by the Advertising Slogan Generator, for all your slogan needs. Get more Beowulf slogans.

Promise Her Anything, But Give Her Beowulf.

Enter a word for your own slogan:

Generated by the Advertising Slogan Generator, for all your slogan needs. Get more Beowulf slogans.

Elizabeth: The Golden Age - in theaters today!

Watch the looong five minute trailer!!


And then check out the Golden Age website and explore the interactive timeline. Be prepared for long load times! Sexy new desktop wallpapers like the one found below can be yours if you search through "Warrior (media)" and then "artifacts"





Mmmm....artifacts.

I mean, nice doublet.

Yeah.

Umm, so what was I saying?

Right - go see the movie!!

1612 Trailer

When and how can I see this movie in English?

INconCIEVable!

It's the 20th Anniversary of The Princess Bride! I have the DVD that came out some years back, but the new Anniversary Edition DVD has so much extra coolness that I must have it!

And, wow, I'm old. I wasn't out of high school yet when this came out in theaters. I'm pretty sure this was one of those movies I went to in a cape, too. Prime cape-wearing period, high school. Yeah. OLD.

The new DVD, due out November 13th, includes:

"The Princess Bride: The Untold Tales"
"The Art of Fencing" Featurette
"Fairy Tales and Folklore" Featurette
"True Love and High Adventure: The Official The Princess Bride DVD Game"

That all sounds like goodness to me. Plus, coolest box art ever:



UPDATE: There is a Princess Bride game in development. Apparently the "True Love and High Adventure" on the 20th Anniversary DVD is a sample of it...

Ye Old Times - movie pre-review!

Forsooth and Huzzah! Some of you may know of my 'fanboy' attitude towards Jack Black. I really do think he's John Belushi's comedic heir. He satisfies my thirst for silly, yet vulgar comedy. I'm pretty sure he's part muppet, too. Which makes him a literal 'jester' in my book.

He has come one step closer to my dream ( Jack Black joins the SCA ) with the upcoming movie, "Ye Old Times". I don't know when this movie about "two rival fairs vying for ownership of all things Middle Ages" will be shown in theaters, but I'm hoping that he'll do some character marketing.

Both Cinematical and the British Empire magazine have pondered the humorous possibilities of this new movie. But it's not JUST Jack Black. Looking at the rest of the cast finds even more treasure!

Tim Robbins, Will Arnett, Cary Elwes and a cameo by John C. Reilly....oh, man. I can't help but speculate. Cary Elwes. That's Wesley from The Princess Bride. I can sooo see him in the role of the old creepy elf dude in the velvet cape who still thinks he's the hottie of the RenFair.

And Tim Robbins either should be King of the Faire or a sensitive viking. Yes. God. Please. The pool of inside jokes and one liners from those two actors alone could carry the whole movie.

This is pure speculation. I have no idea what roles anyone has, save Jack himself as Professor Shockworthy -- the movie's narrator who tutors some "romantically entwined characters in the mysterious ways of love."

I welcome Ye Old Times! I shall bring my band of merry men and descend upon my local theater with mirth and magic! And maybe elf ears...

Pirates of the Great Salt Lake

Real Pirates! Real Treasure! Real Wooden Swords!

This up and coming independent movie looks really, really entertaining. I am such a sucker for pirates, though. Hopefully there will be a showing in Denver...to which I'll certainly have to appear in costume. Who's with me??

Avast! I smell an excuse for geekery! Hoist me sails!

Pirates Trailer

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These pirates are also on MySpace, wherein you may find more movie clips and such wonderful quotes as "Books is worthless! I only read maps! And they best lead somewhere treasureful!"

If you be a treasure-seeker as well, visit the PotGSL website and enter to win pirate booty!

Rare Monty Python PBS footage from 1975

A re-discovered video from PBS station KERA-TV in Dallas allows us to travel back in time to 1975! This was the time of Watergate, the end of the Vietnam War, and plenty of world violence on a daily basis. No computers, cell phones, internet or cable TV, either. A simpler, but no less uncertain time.

Just as the modern people of today seek entertainment to forget their worldly troubles, the quirky Britishness of Monty Python resonated with many children and adults of the 70's. And their influence on American cinema and entertainment had such dramatic and lasting effects, it has been compared to the effect that the Beatles had on music.

Thirty years later, who doesn't recognize the opening theme song of the Flying Circus? Who has not ordered spam-spam-spam from the local diner? Who expects the Spanish Inquisition? What one of us has not said "NI"? Python humor is now so pervasive, it's almost impossible to escape.

This rescued footage, discovered on an old reel that had been saved by an engineer, contains some things that would raise eyebrows even now in these jaded modern times. In fact, it's even a bit racy.

Its.........................



A big fat thank you to the The Sound of Young America, a public radio show about things that are awesome, for providing this footage!

Thankfully they stayed independent, without the large media influences that control much of today's entertainment industry. But, there is a new breed of fans who create their own movies from Python footage. Here's one fans' view of what might have happened if The Holy Grail had come out of a modern Hollywood. Still funny, but completely different.

Pirates of the Caribbean : At World's End Trailer!

Aye, since Disney was so good as to provide us with 'the code' right out in the open for anyone to display the "At World's End" trailer willy-nilly, well then I shall have to oblige them in their quest for free marketing. Oh, and don't forget to visit the official PotC-AWE website.