The first Star Wars movie came out OVER 30 YEARS AGO which means that the futuristicness of it should be current technology any time now...I mean, we've already got little robots that will clean up after us (hello Roomba) but where are the personal spaceships? Real light sabers? Wookies?
Real technology inspired by the films has been slow coming, but there have been numerous parodies, with the first being Hardware Wars. That little gem was one of the reasons I fell in love with the parody genre. As a child I learned that yes, you can make fun of something, and not only not get in trouble, but people laugh and want more. If I ever saw a perfect career path, that was it...
So, 30 years later, it takes a pretty funny Star Wars parody to get my jaded attention. Being a gardener and all, and having made the switch away from most processed foods in the last couple of years, I love the message behind this one:
13. As you enter the site, there is a ferocious fist fight going on. It is between the autocrat and the head cook, both female.
12. One hour after the bread and butter course is served, the kitchen staff announces that everything else is burned. And...you can smell it.
11. The special meat presentation is being carved and served cafeteria style. You are 2/3 of the way back in the line and when they serve you it is just a bone.
10. Even Mapquest.com can't find directions to the site.
9. Reservationcrat's phone number is disconnected.
8. On the event schedule - doumbek drum-off at 2 a.m.
7. Weekend cost without feast is $20 (Oh, wait, that's a sign you're at a Kingdom event).
6. Feast is being prepared by big, sweaty, hairy, shirtless guys.
5. No fighting, but there's an embroidery tournament.
4. Feast theme is "Lactose Intolerance in the Middle Ages."
3. Guy who gives you the clipboard at Troll insists on a kiss after he reads you your license plate number.
2. Earl Marshall makes you wear plastic bags over your shoes.
In the beginning, God created LOLCats, and it was good. Then someone (possibly the DEVIL) created 'medieval ceiling cat' and thus the seed of a quest was planted in the moist and fertile brain of Anachronista; Why not LOL-ify medieval art? The tiny seed became a great and scraggly tree from whence LOLFruit grew.
Anachronista, knowing nothing about LOLFruit trees, sadly let most of them rot on the branch, unknowing of how to harvest the bounty. Until one day...
"And lo", she said, "let there be LOLMedieval, a completely separate blog from Anachronista!"
And the people were like, 'Yay! Huzzah!' as verily did they laugh and accidently spilleth coffee from thier noses upon the witnessing of such fyne humor, which can be viewed within the slide show below, or via a link in the sidebar over yonder on the right.
Comedy Central is dipping their toes into the warm bath of medieval mockery with Krod Mandoon and the Flaming Sword of Fire, due to air in April 2009. On first glance at the trailer, it looks like they took script pages from Hercules, 300, Beastmaster and Monty Python and threw it all in a blender and pressed SPOOF. This is going to be way too easy to mock.
Let's start with the title. "Krod Mandoon" is a tough barbarian sounding name, which is attached to the rather metrosexual germophobic son of a blacksmith and stay-at-home mom. But Krod spelled backwards is DORK. Keep that concept firmly in mind, as that is apparently the category of people the comedy shotgun is leveled at in this epic series. Oh, this is going to take at least a six-pack to get through. Epic indeed! Methinks I'll have to invent yet another drinking game...
And "Flaming Sword of Fire?" Don't think for a moment that double redundancy is lost on me! If I wasn't such a medieval dork I might have just glossed over that part.
Krod is joined in his adventures by Sizzlewick the potion-crafting warlock, Loquasto the farty ogre, Bruce the crossdressing widowed queen, and Annika, Krod's pagan promiscuous ex-girlfriend. Of course their nemesis is one Chancellor Dongalor, a bald evil genius who has the most powerful weapon in the world, and they must lead a resistance against him. This sounds exactly like an old D&D adventure I played many moons ago, so I'm pretty sure how it's going to end. Too bad I don't get *experience points for watching TV.
Ah, yes, finally we get to the trailer. Be aware that they address such concepts as threesomes and bondage. Hopefully that goes over the heads of any kids who read this blog. Who am I kidding? The whole internet is practically rated R now...
But seriously, if you are a LARPer, are fond of slapstick comedy mixed with your RPG's, if you LOVED Hercules, Xena, Beastmaster or any other cheesy tales of sword and sorcery, you'll probably get hooked on this show. I suspect I'll be watching it too, merrily mocking along.
* But I DO get points for blogging. I'm nearly 12th level now!
You Are Middle Eastern! You shun European clothing and customs as marks of the Infidels. Either that, or you live in the West Kingdom and it's more of a necessity to cope with the summer heat than it is anything else... Still, there's lots of cool stuff about the various cultures of the Middle East during the scope of the SCA that attracts you to this persona. From the music, to dance, to the food, you've got it all! Take this quiz!
Forsooth and Huzzah! Some of you may know of my 'fanboy' attitude towards Jack Black. I really do think he's John Belushi's comedic heir. He satisfies my thirst for silly, yet vulgar comedy. I'm pretty sure he's part muppet, too. Which makes him a literal 'jester' in my book.
He has come one step closer to my dream ( Jack Black joins the SCA ) with the upcoming movie, "Ye Old Times". I don't know when this movie about "two rival fairs vying for ownership of all things Middle Ages" will be shown in theaters, but I'm hoping that he'll do some character marketing.
Both Cinematical and the British Empire magazine have pondered the humorous possibilities of this new movie. But it's not JUST Jack Black. Looking at the rest of the cast finds even more treasure!
Tim Robbins, Will Arnett, Cary Elwes and a cameo by John C. Reilly....oh, man. I can't help but speculate. Cary Elwes. That's Wesley from The Princess Bride. I can sooo see him in the role of the old creepy elf dude in the velvet cape who still thinks he's the hottie of the RenFair.
And Tim Robbins either should be King of the Faire or a sensitive viking. Yes. God. Please. The pool of inside jokes and one liners from those two actors alone could carry the whole movie.
This is pure speculation. I have no idea what roles anyone has, save Jack himself as Professor Shockworthy -- the movie's narrator who tutors some "romantically entwined characters in the mysterious ways of love."
I welcome Ye Old Times! I shall bring my band of merry men and descend upon my local theater with mirth and magic! And maybe elf ears...
My new hero is Randall Munroe. I've been reading his online comic for a while, because I figure as long as I continue to get the jokes, I'll be able to claim higher than average intelligence. It's comedy that makes you smart.
XKCD.com is all done with stick figures, yet it's action-packed and intelligently funny. But it's also occasionally really vulgar (you were warned) and sometimes so painfully obscure I find myself searching online for clues about whatever he referenced that went over my head.
I've thought for a while that Mr. Munroe has an anachronistic streak, noting such comics as Tabletop Roleplaying and Open Source. But now he has proved himself as a most worthy cartographer with his latest comic effort, this Map of Online Communities.
The land area is determined by the number of members in each online community. As you can see, MySpace is huge. Peruse this fine map and see if you can get any or all of the inside jokes he has included. Such as the one about anthropomorphic dragons.
I'll point out an extra 'easter egg' as well. Each comic contains a message within the metadata of the file. This one reads: "I'm waiting for the day when, if you tell someone 'I'm from the internet', instead of laughing they just ask 'oh, what part?'
He really goes the extra mile to make sure your XKCD experience is rich and exciting!
His other Map of the Internet isn't quite as pretty as this one, but it's certainly worth a look if you have ever been curious as to how IP addresses might look if mapped out on a plane using fractal mapping that preserves grouping.
A great thanks to Dr. Nokes at Unlocked Wordhoard for finding this (maybe not quite safe for work) anachronistic public service announcement of what to do if you need an Emergency Codpiece Substitute.
Get ready for the innuendos, for they come fast and trippingly off the tongue...
It's disturbing what can happen when you add 'SCA words' to an online movie quote generator. I just cannot handle this much silly. I've been giggling over these for about an hour....
Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can say 'SCA' at will to old ladies.
I'm all for the proliferation of educational websites such as Dictionary.com and Wikipedia. Because if you read it on the internet, it must be true, right?
Well, I love a hefty dose of humor in my internet diet, and this 'online find of the day' is both humorous AND educational. Sort of.
The Uncyclopedia stretches the boundaries of modern wisdom. Please note that the Uncyclopedia is not kid-safe. It's probably around PG-13 though, considering all the swearing kids do nowadays....
By now you've likely heard of the great mapping program Google Earth. Well, you won't find it on Uncyclopedia, but you will find information about Google Middle Earth, a palantir-driven geographical simulation program! I gotta get me one of those!
The article about Vikings has finally cleared up the meaning of the word "viking" for me. Itis derived from the Old Norse verb "vike" which means "to wear an awesome helmet." Good to know. And, it was not just the axe they used in viking raids, they also favored the longsword, the really longsword, and the really really longsword. You learn something new every day!
Imagine my surprise when I found their research on the elusive Ninja-Pirate, which states that "aNinja pirate is not a mammal at all, but is really an igneous rock formation given sentience by a fusion of magic and technology called Funk. And I certainly did not expect their claim that the Spanish Inquisition was just a successful game show! Wheel! Of! Torture!
Wow! I can just feel myself getting smarter!
Further delving into the articles reveals an entry about a terrible disease: William Shatner Syndrome, which, causes, you, to, pause, after, every, word. How can we stop this horrible thing? KHAAAAN!!!
I spend faaaaar too much time online. I just love it when I find yet another internet timesuck device to leech away my precious hours.
The latest find is StripGenerator. I know, sounds a bit dirty, but it's just a comic strip maker that uses templates and drop-in characters and objects. I've created an account so that I may continue my misuse of their fine generator.
