Ye Old Times - movie pre-review!

Forsooth and Huzzah! Some of you may know of my 'fanboy' attitude towards Jack Black. I really do think he's John Belushi's comedic heir. He satisfies my thirst for silly, yet vulgar comedy. I'm pretty sure he's part muppet, too. Which makes him a literal 'jester' in my book.

He has come one step closer to my dream ( Jack Black joins the SCA ) with the upcoming movie, "Ye Old Times". I don't know when this movie about "two rival fairs vying for ownership of all things Middle Ages" will be shown in theaters, but I'm hoping that he'll do some character marketing.

Both Cinematical and the British Empire magazine have pondered the humorous possibilities of this new movie. But it's not JUST Jack Black. Looking at the rest of the cast finds even more treasure!

Tim Robbins, Will Arnett, Cary Elwes and a cameo by John C. Reilly....oh, man. I can't help but speculate. Cary Elwes. That's Wesley from The Princess Bride. I can sooo see him in the role of the old creepy elf dude in the velvet cape who still thinks he's the hottie of the RenFair.

And Tim Robbins either should be King of the Faire or a sensitive viking. Yes. God. Please. The pool of inside jokes and one liners from those two actors alone could carry the whole movie.

This is pure speculation. I have no idea what roles anyone has, save Jack himself as Professor Shockworthy -- the movie's narrator who tutors some "romantically entwined characters in the mysterious ways of love."

I welcome Ye Old Times! I shall bring my band of merry men and descend upon my local theater with mirth and magic! And maybe elf ears...

Mapping the Internet

My new hero is Randall Munroe. I've been reading his online comic for a while, because I figure as long as I continue to get the jokes, I'll be able to claim higher than average intelligence. It's comedy that makes you smart.

XKCD.com is all done with stick figures, yet it's action-packed and intelligently funny. But it's also occasionally really vulgar (you were warned) and sometimes so painfully obscure I find myself searching online for clues about whatever he referenced that went over my head.

I've thought for a while that Mr. Munroe has an anachronistic streak, noting such comics as Tabletop Roleplaying and Open Source. But now he has proved himself as a most worthy cartographer with his latest comic effort, this Map of Online Communities.

The land area is determined by the number of members in each online community. As you can see, MySpace is huge. Peruse this fine map and see if you can get any or all of the inside jokes he has included. Such as the one about anthropomorphic dragons.

I'll point out an extra 'easter egg' as well. Each comic contains a message within the metadata of the file. This one reads: "I'm waiting for the day when, if you tell someone 'I'm from the internet', instead of laughing they just ask 'oh, what part?'

He really goes the extra mile to make sure your XKCD experience is rich and exciting!

His other Map of the Internet isn't quite as pretty as this one, but it's certainly worth a look if you have ever been curious as to how IP addresses might look if mapped out on a plane using fractal mapping that preserves grouping.

Wow, don't you feel smarter already?

Fear of Girls

Thanks Russ, for pointing out this shocking expose. I always wondered if gamer geeks actually had a fear of girls. Now I know.



Just click the above thumbnail to go to the Revver.com site where this video is hosted. Because if I put the whole player code in my blog post, it will automatically play, which I don't appreciate too terribly much. There's nothing like being unprepared for nasal geeks blasting out of your speakers.

Booth Babes Banned at 2006 E3Expo trade show

Oh, noooooooo! Sexy booth babes have been BANNED at the upcoming E3Expo! Dress codes will be enforced! And "ESA said it has sole discretion to determine what is acceptable."

Video games have long been a haven for sexual themes. Apparently the game industry is trying inject a little morality back into them by making sure that the game creators don't use scantily clad models to direct interest to their newest endeavors.

But I feel bad for the geeks. Whatever will they drool over while perusing the newest, hottest video games? Instead of just logging on to watch their World of Warcraft elf dance, this might be the one weekend a year that they crawl out of their darkened basements, blinking from the brightness of the sun, seeking contact (however brief...) with a real girl!

I say, DOWN with the dress code! Geeks unite! Take BACK your skintight spandex, your negative 10 AC bikinis, your sparkly body paint! You go to the trade shows to see the new technology, yes, but the EYE CANDY is what makes the cost of the trip worthwhile!

Besides, if the Game Industry can do this, the Comic Industry may not be far behind. Save the Spandex!