Top 13 signs you are at a Bad SCA Event

Apparently, these are all true. Hopefully none of these are happening to anyone at Estrella War...number 8 seems likely though. Always bring earplugs!

Top 13 Signs You are at a "Bad SCA Event" (original via the Medieval Trivia Yahoo Group)

13. As you enter the site, there is a ferocious fist fight going on. It is between the autocrat and the head cook, both female.

12. One hour after the bread and butter course is served, the kitchen staff announces that everything else is burned. And...you can smell it.

11. The special meat presentation is being carved and served cafeteria style. You are 2/3 of the way back in the line and when they serve you it is just a bone.

10. Even Mapquest.com can't find directions to the site.

9. Reservationcrat's phone number is disconnected.

8. On the event schedule - doumbek drum-off at 2 a.m.

7. Weekend cost without feast is $20 (Oh, wait, that's a sign you're at a Kingdom event).

6. Feast is being prepared by big, sweaty, hairy, shirtless guys.

5. No fighting, but there's an embroidery tournament.

4. Feast theme is "Lactose Intolerance in the Middle Ages."

3. Guy who gives you the clipboard at Troll insists on a kiss after he reads you your license plate number.

2. Earl Marshall makes you wear plastic bags over your shoes.

1. Site token is a flea and tick collar.