Gatorade gets Medieval

Gatorade seems to be the sport drink of choice for many athletes, and even some heavy fighters of the SCA. I've sampled the stuff myself a time or two on the fencing field, and verily, it doth quench my thirst as advertised.

Someone at the Gatorade marketing factory has decided that the recent surge of medieval pop culture must not be complete without yet ANOTHER Monty Python parody. One that includes basketball stars, talking goats and fire-breathing poodles... oh, and one 'bleep'.



Please understand that I'm contractually obligated to include as much medieval pop culture as I can on this blog, and that occasionally includes advertising ploys such as this. But there's only so far I can go without permanent brain damage. Probably won't be able to drink the stuff now without quoting "Your Mother was a polar bear and your Father was a figure skater!"

Yep. Brain damage for sure.

Star Wars - Organic Food Parody

The first Star Wars movie came out OVER 30 YEARS AGO which means that the futuristicness of it should be current technology any time now...I mean, we've already got little robots that will clean up after us (hello Roomba) but where are the personal spaceships? Real light sabers? Wookies?

Real technology inspired by the films has been slow coming, but there have been numerous parodies, with the first being Hardware Wars. That little gem was one of the reasons I fell in love with the parody genre. As a child I learned that yes, you can make fun of something, and not only not get in trouble, but people laugh and want more. If I ever saw a perfect career path, that was it...

So, 30 years later, it takes a pretty funny Star Wars parody to get my jaded attention. Being a gardener and all, and having made the switch away from most processed foods in the last couple of years, I love the message behind this one:




ChewBroccoli. Heh.

May the Farm be with you!!!!

LOL Medieval...In the beginning

In the beginning, God created LOLCats, and it was good. Then someone (possibly the DEVIL) created 'medieval ceiling cat' and thus the seed of a quest was planted in the moist and fertile brain of Anachronista; Why not LOL-ify medieval art? The tiny seed became a great and scraggly tree from whence LOLFruit grew.

Anachronista, knowing nothing about LOLFruit trees, sadly let most of them rot on the branch, unknowing of how to harvest the bounty. Until one day...

"And lo", she said, "let there be LOLMedieval, a completely separate blog from Anachronista!"

And the people were like, 'Yay! Huzzah!' as verily did they laugh and accidently spilleth coffee from thier noses upon the witnessing of such fyne humor, which can be viewed within the slide show below, or via a link in the sidebar over yonder on the right.

Comedy Central goes Medieval..ish with Krod Mandoon

Comedy Central is dipping their toes into the warm bath of medieval mockery with Krod Mandoon and the Flaming Sword of Fire, due to air in April 2009. On first glance at the trailer, it looks like they took script pages from Hercules, 300, Beastmaster and Monty Python and threw it all in a blender and pressed SPOOF. This is going to be way too easy to mock.

Let's start with the title. "Krod Mandoon" is a tough barbarian sounding name, which is attached to the rather metrosexual germophobic son of a blacksmith and stay-at-home mom. But Krod spelled backwards is DORK. Keep that concept firmly in mind, as that is apparently the category of people the comedy shotgun is leveled at in this epic series. Oh, this is going to take at least a six-pack to get through. Epic indeed! Methinks I'll have to invent yet another drinking game...

And "Flaming Sword of Fire?" Don't think for a moment that double redundancy is lost on me! If I wasn't such a medieval dork I might have just glossed over that part.

Krod is joined in his adventures by Sizzlewick the potion-crafting warlock, Loquasto the farty ogre, Bruce the crossdressing widowed queen, and Annika, Krod's pagan promiscuous ex-girlfriend. Of course their nemesis is one Chancellor Dongalor, a bald evil genius who has the most powerful weapon in the world, and they must lead a resistance against him. This sounds exactly like an old D&D adventure I played many moons ago, so I'm pretty sure how it's going to end. Too bad I don't get *experience points for watching TV.

Ah, yes, finally we get to the trailer. Be aware that they address such concepts as threesomes and bondage. Hopefully that goes over the heads of any kids who read this blog. Who am I kidding? The whole internet is practically rated R now...



But seriously, if you are a LARPer, are fond of slapstick comedy mixed with your RPG's, if you LOVED Hercules, Xena, Beastmaster or any other cheesy tales of sword and sorcery, you'll probably get hooked on this show. I suspect I'll be watching it too, merrily mocking along.

* But I DO get points for blogging. I'm nearly 12th level now!

The Daily Show goes Pirate

Real pirates are no laughing matter. Except on the Daily Show:

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

The Buccaneer Stops Here

Barack Obama Interview
John McCain Interview

Sarah Palin Video
Funny Election Video

Beware the Ides of March

24 goes Medieval - "1424"

Even Jack Bauer would like this anachronism. The is one of the very best uses of 'medieval' in a parody I've ever seen. And it was created by some college kids in the UK as a film project.



Pretty good, eh? Well, part two contains chemical weapons and assassins!



Can Jack stop the rebels before they begin their final attack?



Just like 24, it has been left wide open at the end. Do I smell a season two?

Medieval Office Space?

This video, called Blood Shall Clot as White Out, is brilliant. It is also not safe for children/work due to a few dirty words and concepts.

The talented guys at spurn ask the question: Cubicle wasteland or medieval fiefdom?



It's disturbing how well I identify with this. Really. You may not know this, but I work in a cubicle environment with another SCA person...

Oh, dear. I shouldn't have watched this.

This will not look good on my review...

God of War II - now with minty fresh LARP website!

Sony, the brains behind God of War II, has deemed a group of West coast LARPers worthy enough to exploit for....ahem, I mean...proudly display in their latest marketing ploy. Even though I love history+hack&slash games, I'm not planning on buying this one, because the website, Battle of the Gods, is far too much fun! I mean, why buy the cow when the milk is free? Freeeee! I implore you, my loyal readers, to visit the site now, for nothing else you see or do this day will compare. Would I steer you wrong?

On one side, you have Kratos, a Barbarian King, Atropos, Cyclops, and Icarus, which you can pit against Zeus, Colossus, the Minotaur, the Medusa Queen, or....Chubby Kratos, all played by normal people just like you and me. Ok, maybe not normal, but they are definitely people under all that body paint and plastic armor.

This cast of ten brave souls are the talent behind what I hope will become one of the most mocked websites of all time. Their mad foam skillz are now part of something greater than just their mortal bodies, as they are now GODS!! Not that I believe in a pantheonic system of religion, but I would pray to every God I could think of that Sony paid you all very well for your time. Because your acting careers are over.

To witness the majesty of "combat", choose your champions, and fight to the DEATH! Or select "characters" and learn a little mundane information about these weekend warriors. Oh, and thanks, Atropos. I never wanted NOT to be a graphic designer before now, but now I just feel kind of dirty knowing we both have the same mundane interests.

My favorite line from the site? " I am Chubby Kratos, and I am all out of bubblegum!" Oh, yessss.... let the mocking commence...

"Fyne Goods - Bad Humor" is open for business!

Since lots of people keep telling me I'm darn funny, I'm inclined to start believing them. So why not make some money off my ideas? Hence, the creation of Fyne Goods - Bad Humor. Which you can now access through a convenient permanent link over there on the top left column. I know there's only one item in there, but I guarantee there are many more to come.

This post marks the first phase of blatant self promotion. I'm hanging my hat out to see if anyone throws money in.

Phase two involves an army of minions papering all the privvies at Estrella War with my propaganda...uh... I mean... announcements. Right. Hmmm.... I'd better order some more duct tape...

I'm really just getting over the fear of the major time commitment that it would take to put my crazy ideas up for sale. Now little by little, they are escaping onto the internet...

...here's what the world is in for:

Cavalier needs ale badly
by
anachronista

Get this custom mug at Zazzle

Officially Caerthan!

Well, I've (finally) finished moving to Denver, making me officially part of the Barony of Caerthe. In all the years I've been an Outlander, I've not had the chance to live in the oldest Barony of this Kingdom. Now we'll see what it's all about.

And looking at their local schedule leaves me with metric shiploads of fighter practices. I'll be going to NCF in Caer Galen this Sunday if anyone wants to poke at me.

Once I get all my garb put away, I can get back to some of the SCA projects that were put on hold. As I mentioned before, there will soon be a large sell-off of stuff. To make room for more stuff. Thanks for the stuff, George Carlin.

Sadly, I'll be missing Sworded Affaire this year...but I'm definitely going to Coronation in Caer Galen May 13th & 14th.

Some things of interest...

...............................................................................
Society for Creative Anachronism Deems Chapter Insufficently Creative

(!!Satire Alert!!)

The Watley Review is hilarious. It was only a matter of time before they lampooned the SCA.

I've heard that on *some* chat boards and groups, this was taken out of context and taken very seriously. All I can say is HAHAHAHAAAA!

Really. It's obviously fake. Come on.

...............................................................................
Dear Medieval Freake...

Let's have some more funny things today, shall we? The Watley Review's SCA story reminded me of an old satire that I think is also hilarious, but it's not directed specifically at the SCA. More towards Renaissance Fairs.

Go forth and read "The Banterist - Dear Medieval Freake". You will be a better person for it...

...even if it only gives you insult ideas the next time you go to Faire...
...............................................................................

Ta-ta for now. More boxes to unpack!!

Video Gamer Love

Haven't we all said these words before??



Tripod Website

Mosquito - A Serenity Spoof

Yep. It HAD to happen.

I love spoofs on already cult-ish movies. "Mosquito" is actually pretty well done, and their mock-up of the opening sequence is priceless.

It's a pretty big download, but well worth it.