In which Wal Mart is challenged to a duel...

Verily, it has been long since I blogged. The summer, being busy time, full of events, henna and gardening leaves me not much time for collecting my thoughts and arranging them in a readable, much less funny way.

Being on Facebook also drags down my ability to blog, since I'm kind of micro-blogging there anyway. Seems like 'Facebooking' is the new way to share info, at least with the 200 friends or so who still think I'm funny.

One of my friends there linked to this Livejournal post about Walmart ripping off an SCA scribe. In the photos, it appears like they scanned an award scroll and incorporated it into medievalish design. Theories abound as to how WalMart may have acquired the scroll, and tempers are starting to flare, but many of the commenters have basically boiled it down to "challenge them to a duel."

Which would be FABULOUS marketing for the SCA. Wouldn't it be great to storm all the WalMarts of the country simultaneously? Let's do a costumed hostile takeover until this is resolved!

Just think...

We could replace the aging WalMart greeters with the customary Troll booth. Instead of "Nice to see you today" it would be, "Are you pre-registered? Not an SCA member? Would you mind signing this waiver?"

Hospitallers could help direct the confused public towards the newly medievalised departments. Squires could help the little old ladies get their heavy carts unloaded into thier cars. We could hold fighter practices there, and cries of "Have at thee, m'lord!" would echo throughout the parking lots. And let's not forget the shopping cart jousting!!

All those tacky sweatshop clothes could be replaced by garb from throughout history, and ladies-in-waiting could help shoppers into the new corsets, ruffs and dresses. There should be a whole section for "Joe T-tunic", after all, it's STILL WalMart. I would dearly, DEARLY love to see a codpiece aisle, though.

The sporting goods section would need a complete overhaul to include armor, rattan and fencing equipment. A complete line of colored duct tape, too. If there are still 1-hour photo developing services, we could re-purpose them into "1-hour Armor Repair." The whole camping section would need to be replaced with period alternatives, and a better selection of tiki torches.

You can bet the crafts section would get 100% better, as we could throw a couple of rabid Laurels in there to get rid of all the synthetic fabrics, buttons and accessories and replace them with proper silk, linens, wool, natural dyes and handmade fasteners. Heraldic displays, coming right up! But keep a couple of those "BeDazzlers" around, because they are fun!

Most of the toy section would be gone, replaced by nice wooden toys and castle building kits. Electronics? Wiped out. In fact, that would be a great location for a period arts display and heraldic consultations. The Health and Beauty section would of course turn into an apothecary/alchemist. I'm sure the aging beauty queen customers will find that sheep's dung mixed with buttermilk is JUST as effective as their $30 a bottle wrinkle cream.

The larger Walmarts might have a fast-food corner, which will of course need to be remade into a Tavern. Better watch out for those tavern brawls the fencers are so fond of stirring up. Speaking of food, 90% of the food section would have to go. Way too much processed, packaged, plastic 'food' will be replaced with more fresh vegetables, grains and fruits. And saffron! Maybe there should be a subtlety aisle for the marzipan-inclined? I'll leave that mess up to the Cooks Guild!

Oh, what fun we could have at WalMart! And, once the CEO's of WalMart get sick of this, they'd have to come down and duel us in person to get their stores back. Actually, I'm thinking larger scale war might have to be readied for, just in case we have to siege. Let's park a few catapults in the back of the parking lot too.

Rose and Chess

Just in time for Valentine's Day...two 13th century manuscripts are being reunited after a century apart! Makes my calligrapher's heart just flutter!

The University of Chicago has recently acquired Le Roman de la Rose (The Romance of the Rose), a courtly romance. This enables them to reunite it with a manuscript from their collection, Le Jeu des échecs moralisé (The Moralized Game of Chess). This one is a treatise on medieval society that uses the game of chess as its framework. They originate from France circa 1365, and were bound together for over 500 years, and parted around 1907.

If you can't get to Chicago for the exhibition, the Rose and Chess site offers fully zoom-able, high resolution digital copies of each. And when I say 'zoom' I'm not kidding. Scary good detail.

More information in the form of a press release by Ascribe may be found here.

I think I'm in love....


Image credit: From left to right: “The Queen conversing with a Doctor.”
Reproduced from: Jacobus de Cessolis. Le Jeu des échecs moralisé. Anonymous compilation of translations by Jean Ferron and Jean de Vigny. France, ca. 1365. 13 illuminations by the Master of Saint Voult. University of Chicago MS 392;
“How Openness and Pity face Resistance to reprimand him for his cruelty” and “How Openness rebukes Fair Welcoming for having left the Lover alone for too long.”
Reproduced from: Guillaume de Lorris and Jean de Meun. Le Roman de la Rose. France, ca. 1365. 40 illuminations by the Master of Saint Voult. University of Chicago Library MS 1380.

The greatest digital manuscript site EVER

The British Library has gone and outdone itself. And every other digital manuscript website online, it seems. Turning the Pages is the greatest digital manuscript site I've ever seen!

If your computer meets the requirements (latest version of Shockwave, allow popups and high speed access) you will actually get the feeling that you are right there with the ancient tome that you are flipping through, page by page. And there are many, many the choose from: the personal notebook of Leonardo Da Vinci, The Lindisfarne Gospels, The Sherborne Missal, Mercators First Atlas of Europe, and so on...

The books take a while to load, but once ready, you can page through 'by hand', or use a slider bar or arrows to change pages. Paging by hand does take some practice, so use the arrows if you are having trouble.

The text button gives a description of the elements and text, but if you select the audio feature, it is narrated for you in a dignified English accent, of course. You'll need to click the audio button for each new page you turn. Use the magnify feature to check out all the amazing initials and illuminations while you learn about these great works of art, cartography and literature in a whole new way.

Friday the 13th is supposed to be UN-lucky, right?

Well, it's been a whole week since I've had any time to write anything. October is always busy. With MORE birthdays this month than any other month it seems, I'm spending far too much free time wrapping, shopping for, or making gifts.

At least the thing that makes me most crazy, the sewing, is nearly done. You can all come out now. Really.

The ironic thing is that me, with my 50 or more costumes, have no idea what to wear for Halloween. I certainly don't want to sew myself anything. But, for SCA'ers, it is considered 'gauche' to wear any of your event garb as a Halloween costume.

Sure, everyone else thinks it's really cool, but deep down you know that it's just your stinky old fighting tabard.

Anyway, in the last week, there have been many newsworthy items that I shall now attempt to put in some sort of order for your perusal.


Watch the 1066 Battle of Hastings Live! This weekend, Saturday the 14th and Sunday the 15th of October, you can watch live online as around 3000 reenactors portray Normans and Saxons to reconstruct the events of a day that changed England forever. To watch, visit the web site both days between 1400 and 1700 Greenwich Time zone (which translates to 7am to 10 am Mountain time zone) and there will be a video link. RealPlayer is required to view the video.


Calligraphy and Illumination fans should be very happy with the internet lately. It seems like every week another searchable high resolution manuscript hits the 'net. The latest one I've seen is called "The Murthly Hours" and it dates from the 1280's. As the site mentions:

The Murthly Hours is an early example of the book of hours, a new kind of prayer book for the laity that made its appearance in France, England and the Low Countries in the thirteenth century. At this time books of hours were written for wealthy laypeople, more often than not women, as in the case of the Murthly Hours. In the thirteenth century such books were still a novelty and a comparative rarity, and examples show a great variety in content and decoration.

The images are amazing. Lots of gold leaf!! Almost makes me want to get back into illumination. Yeah, which I would do with my copious amounts of free time. Right.


Estrella War is coming! I'm excited that I'll be able to go, but the site photos have already depressed me. "Home of Country Thunder?" Yeeeee--haaawww! I'm gonna bring mah banjo! Really, let's just pray this site is not going to be as bad as Schnepf Farms was.What am I worried about, though? I hardly ever leave Darbuka anyway. Save yourself from the horrors of Troll and Pre-Register for Estrella War! Do it by Halloween and save yourself $5 each!


Speaking of out of Kingdom events, it seems that there were some failed negotiations at last Pennsic. In this photo, uploaded to Yahoo Photos by honeybeelanegone, King Bela must have wondered; what IS the going rate for a bevvy of traditional Outlands dancers?

Strangely, while researching the word "bevvy" (because I like funny words) I came across this site called Fun with Words: Collective Nouns. Here you'll find an amazing list of animals and the words used to describe them in groups. Everyone's heard of a 'murder of crows.' Well, scrolling down the list for 'bevvy', I found that bevvy applies to deer!! So, the good 'honeybeelanegone' was RIGHT when he or she referred to Outlands dancers as deer. IF you don't get the joke, just take a look at the Outlands Kingdom device.

Of course 'bevvy' also applies to doves, otter, quail, and swans, so I guess that blows that joke.


I guess I'll finish up by finally getting back to the title of this post. I work with several people who I swear are mired in the Dark Ages. They seriously believe that Friday the 13th is nothing but bad luck.

Well, I can attest to the fact that good things DO happen on this most reviled of days.

I GOT TICKETS FOR TENACIOUS D at the Fillmore Auditorium in Denver.

November 22nd. A concert of epic proportions. The countdown has begun!!

Book of Kells on CD-Rom

For those of you who remember the calligraphy and illumination I used to do in the SCA, you'll recall my deep love for the Celtic style.

Long ago, I had gotten a facsimile version of the Book of Kells, but this appears to go one step further.

How about a CD Rom of the Book of Kells? Here's some highlights from thier site:

The Book of Kells CD-ROM contains all 340 folios or 680 pages of the Book of Kells manuscript.

SEARCH – for Fish, People, Angels, Peacocks, Otters, Goats and find out what they mean…

LISTEN – to the story of the monks striving to protect their masterpiece from Viking invaders…

SEE – the journey of the book through the ages and the many treasures it inspired…

ZOOM – in on the details of feature pages and explore the artists' intricate work

Special Edition US$70
Standard Edition US$36.95

Oh, man. It might be time to pick up the quills again.