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    Saturday, April 14, 2007

    Anachronistic modern gadgets!

    I'm always on the lookout for modern gadgets with an anachronistic twist. Not that I can afford most of them, but one can dream...

    Leave it to the Dutch to make a hot tub that looks like something from Fisher-Price. I'm not a big fan of orange, especially in my bathroom, but this wood-burning hot tub certainly looks as if it could have evolved from a medieval invention. I'm sure that alchemists of the past knew how to do this at least on a smaller scale.

    We all know that 'hot' rises and 'cold' sinks. This tub creates its own convection current: as the cold water is pulled into the base of the coil, it is heated up by the adjustable fire basket inside the coil. The heated water is pushed out into the tub through the top coil and the process repeats itself until you've got nice toasty water. Huzzah, hot tub!

    Three guesses as to what this is. It sure looks like a piece of shoulder armor or maybe even a helmet. Would you believe it's a breadbox? Yes, indeed, it is the Armadillo Breadbin! It kind of reminds me of a lorica segmentata. Those segments collapse in on itself when you lift the 'tail' of the armadillo. Protect your bread from marauding invaders! Patented anti-arrow technology! No guarantee against bread mold however.

    Achieve Norse God-like powers with the Genso Kukan Aurora Borealis projector! What viking wouldn't love an Instant Bifrost projector for casting a realistic rainbow bridge effect upon the walls of his tent? The pick-up lines are just so obvious it hurts. "Hey, baby, I can show you the way to Valhalla?"

    But then I looked at the product page photos. Ewwww. This could be done so much better. I good idea, really, but a very unimpressive outcome. But what do the Japanese know about the northern lights anyway? They're not anywhere near the arctic circle. They've probably only seen it in bad Anime cartoons from 1985. That would explain the lameness of this product.

    Now here's something useful! Not only does this modern-looking watch tell the time, but it also doubles as a catapult. Yep, that little spoon on the watch face can launch small ammunition (like peas, dried lentils, corn kernels) up to 8 feet. Perfect for personal warfare! Of course a watch of this type pretty much guarantees you'll never be on time. You'll be too busy launching attacks on the cubicle next to yours to notice that you are late for the sales meeting.

    Check out the Backyard Artillery site for animated photos of the amazing watch catapult in action!

    Ok, I know this isn't really a 'gadget', but it is still pretty darn cool. This replica of the Claremont Helmet can be used as a trash bin or even an ice bucket! I wonder how many bottled ales it could hold? It has a mesh basket inside for easy removal of trash or stored items.

    What a wonderful centerpiece this would make at a feast, filled with cookies or treats. Or, plant it next to your chair at the feast, and ditch the food you don't like, thus avoiding the ire of the head cook. Imagine never having to hear "Don't you like my flan?" ever again. Ah, yes, a truly useful gadget indeed. Anything to avoid the horrors of flan.

    A throne fit for a King! Seriously, you know you've taken the medieval motif too far when you are actually considering buying a toilet seat that looks like a medieval helmet. Apparently there's even real chainmail in the clear lucite seat. From the description on the website, it is the last word in siege withstanding comfort! Ummm... Ok.

    The Gothic Commode seat will amaze your friends and scare away your enemies! Or is it scare your friends and amaze your enemies...yeah. I hope I never see one of these in real life. I wouldn't be able to stop laughing. Though if one of these showed up in a port-a-potty at an SCA event, there would be a line to get in. Sad, but true.

    1 comment:

    1. I want that hot tub. Especially in orange - it's 'hot' colored.


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