Outlandish White Scarf Recipe

Take one pound of a$$-kicking, and mix in five pounds of humility. Add a cup of leadership, and a pinch of sass. Slowly add a bit of decorum to taste. Bake as long as necessary to rise to the occasion.

During the baking process, dress the White Scarf with lace, ribbons and all manner of finery, just to prove you can. But we all know it’s what’s on the inside that counts, so make sure that it does not become “overdone’’.

The best icing in the world doesn’t help a tasteless cake.

Poke with an epee several thousand times in the midsection to determine if it is cooked thoroughly before serving up to the public.

Remember, a little blood adds flavor, and is good for keeping the bitter taste of pride down.