I need a new event vehicle

So my poor little Mazda MPV Minivan is nearing the end of her natural lifespan. I have put over 75,000 miles on it, in only 4 years. The paint is peeling in enough places to make her look like some sort of bizzarre African beast. The brake light is permanently on, even though the brake itself is fine. Cruise control works only occasionally. Burns through oil like a rockstar through cocaine.

She needs at least $1500 worth of repairs to make her what I consider 'event worthy'. Meaning, she won't strand me somewhere out in the middle of New Mexico in a snowstorm on the way to or from an event.

I just went to my bank today to see how much of a loan I can quailfy for. I'm thinking of getting the same make and model, only about 5 or 6 years newer. Or maybe a Honda Passport. Or a Toyota Previa.

In any case, these qualities must be met:

• Decent gas mileage (have you seen the prices lately?)
• Cargo room (because I bring EVERYTHING I own to events)
• Removable back seats (if you have to ask...)
• 4 wheel drive or the ability to switch to 4WD (for those rustic sites)
• Air conditioning (for those long hot drives through New Mexico in August)
• An ejector seat (for the co-pilot from hell)
• Invisibility to law enforcement (because they just LOVE to have me open up and empty out every last bag, box and tub)

I really hate to see my current MPV go, but just like anything that has outlived its usefulness, you need to cut and run before the thing actually starts to COST you money.